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“daily” log

Got up today around 2 pm. Siarl slept until about 4. Once our schedule gets this off kilter we’ve learned it’s not salvageable. We’ll “cycle” until we start going to bed and getting up so late that it becomes early again.

It used to be worse. Only a little while back every “day” ended up being hours longer than it was supposed to be and we “cycled” constantly. Our current situation, where we maintain a schedule for a few days (maybe a week) and then cycle, is a definite improvement.

I gave Spooky (our goat child) water and food, made breakfast for myself, and took a shower. This time breakfast was eggs with jack cheese and leftover ground turkey, coffee, milk, cranberry juice, and a peanut butter and jam sandwich. The combination of pancakes and coffee in the morning has been leaving me feeling shaky and weak later in the day. PB&J seems to do better.

Then Siarl woke up and we hung out for a bit. I started to feel a little weak and shaky so I just had 3 apples to boost my blood sugar. I’m feeling better now.

Now I need to clean up in the kitchen and make Siarl their breakfast.

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It’s been 5 days since I wrote the above. Spooky’s poop problem hadn’t improved and there was a lot of stressing out about our baby.

Consequently we ended up cycling. I lost sleep, and because I lost sleep I wasn’t able to prepare things to get the best sleep I can get without my sleep machine. This meant I slept more and felt like crap a lot of my waking hours.

I feel much better today. Making sure I’ve got clean bedding is pretty important. I can’t wait a whole week or more before washing blankets and sheets.

It’s difficult for me to fit in writing time at the best of times. Find that time is hard, also there’s resistance to actually sitting down to write that I have to fight.

(For more about resistance check out the excellent book The War Of Art.)

I got woken up at about 9 am this morning by Siarl. They needed me to make breakfast. I accidentally slept for another two hours. Siarl called me on FaceTime again at 11. I finally got out of bed at 11:30.

It’s 2 pm now. Siarl has had their breakfast. I’m about to give them a bit more food before taking a shower. Then we’ll figure out if I need to go to the grocery store or do any other errands today.

One of the reasons I didn’t continue with my “daily” blogs until now is that I hadn’t written in all that time. I didn’t want to write a “It’s day n, and I still haven’t written anything” post. No need to make a report until there’s something to report.

I finished writing another chapter of Heroes Of The Green City last night. I wrote for about an hour and fourty minutes and wrote 1400+ words. I think my rate was about 850+ an hour. It was a bit of a grind last night. I wasn’t in my writing zone. I kept checking the clock. I pressed on anyway. I wanted to break this no-writing streak. I wanted to meet my hourly goal.

Drawing has been easier to do. I’ve been drawing for at least a half hour most days.

I still haven’t played ukulele since that one day. Maybe I need to do it before I shower? Nah, the more time I delay showering the less likely it is to happen.

Ok. I’ll post this now and start a new daily log for the rest of today. If things go as planned I’ll post that one before I go to sleep or just after I wake up.

Heroes Of The Green City Chapter 4: Love And Sex

“Here, try some of this.” John said, offering the beer bottle to Alex. They were close. Alex could smell him, feel his warmth.

Jane had introduced John to Alex a few days ago. Jane and Alex had been going to the philosophy discussion group together for most of the semester. Even though Jane was a total Ayn-Rander she wasn’t an asshole about it, and was honestly more open to talk about Marxism than Alex’s more liberal friends.

Alex liked her. They took the chance and told Jane they didn’t really feel like a guy or a girl. After that Jane had helped Alex find more girly clothes, showed them how to put on makeup and do their hair, all kinds of girly stuff.

Alex’s dad hadn’t learned about any of this so far (they honestly didn’t know how he’d react) and Jane lived in an apartment with a bunch of other weirdo slackers who welcomed Alex as if they were a long lost member of their self-described clan of freaks.

One night Alex and Jane were having an honest to god sleepover (pajamas and everything). While Jane was doing Alex’s nails she asked if Alex was attracted to men.

“Jane, I’m 21 and queer. I’m horny all the time and I want to fuck everyone.” Alex replied.

Suddenly shy, she started to focus more on Alex’s nails than seemed necessary. Quietly she asked if that included her. Alex said it did.

They both grinned and blushed at the same time. Then they talked a few things out before they fucked. It’s best to do that sort of thing when you’re polyamorous.

Afterward they both fixed their makeup, played dress up, and finished off the homemade apple pie in the fridge while snuggling and watching dumb movies.

Another night, another party, this time in an actual house instead of an apartment. Lots of people. Lots of queers of every description. Alex wasn’t the only weirdo wearing makeup.

Jane came up to Alex and kissed them full on the mouth. “I want to introduce you to someone. He’s why I asked if you’re into guys.” Alex nodded enthusiastically.

Alex could tell John was gay. He was wearing a normal t-shirt and jeans, but there was something about his clothes, his hair, his clean shaven face. He looked too good, to well-groomed, to be straight.

Also his t-shirt was a big clue. It was baby blue and had a rainbow and clouds printed on it. Just below the rainbow and clouds, happy letters spelled the word “faggot”. There were pink and yellow bunnies hopping around on the clouds.

Alex was instantly smitten but worried were they too girly for him.

No, as it turned out. John seemed very happy to date someone who felt they weren’t either gender, although he admitted he didn’t fully understand it. Alex said that was ok because they didn’t really understand it themselves.

Alex was being a little less cautious now. One night, most of the clan had decided to go out to eat. Alex, with Jane’s help, had finally gotten the courage to dye their hair an unnatural pink-burgundy. They were wearing their hello kitty bracelet, had painted their nails, and were wearing their Care Bears shirt.

Otherwise Alex was dressing “normal” which, for them, meant their green chuck Taylors, baggy purple jeans, and their red hoodie with the smiley face on the back.

John had asked if the smiley face was because of Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey. Alex nearly kissed him full on the mouth right there in the restaurant.

As it was they were both sitting awfully close to each other for a public place. Jane was sitting on the other side of Alex, beside herself with glee. Jane thought Alex and John looked so cute together. John told Jane and Alex he still felt a little awkward about the whole poly thing and kept having to tell himself that they weren’t cheating and hurting Jane.

Perhaps incautiously, Alex made a point to hold both John and Jane’s hands as a way of confirming this was all above board and no one was being hurt.

At some point the conversation went to beer. It turns out John was super into beer and had started brewing some of his own. He knew all about the different kinds of beer out there and could explain to you what an ale was or why most beer had hops in it.

“How very dad of you,” teased Jane.

“I’ve tried a few beers, but then I discovered cider and other fruity drinks. I was like, ‘oh, you can drink alcohol and not have it taste like shit.’” said Alex.

John grinned at this “I don’t want to tell you you have to drink beer,” he replied, “but there might be some beers you like. Here, try some of this.” He offered the bottle to Alex and Jane.

Alex took a swig and made a face. Jane drank some and said they liked it. “I almost wanna say you’re both faking. Beer tastes terrible.” joked Alex. They stuck their tongue out to emphasize the point.

That night Alex and John had sex while Jane played video games with the parts of the clan that weren’t already asleep. After a while Alex and John came out of the bedroom and played video games too.

A few hours later John had to go home. They promised to call each other the next day. Jane and Alex fell asleep in each other’s arms on the couch.

Video game music played as they slept. The cartoon skunk Alex had been playing just stood there for a bit, scratching himself, looking bored. Eventually the skunk laid down and started sleeping. Cartoon z’s streamed out of his head as he snored.